This week’s chapter really got me thinking about myself. Originally I thought that I wanted to go into nursing. Good money, rewarding job, and job availability were the main reasons why I wanted to go down this career path. Before I started college I got a job at a nursing home. It didn’t take me long to figure out that working with women was a whole different ball game than what I was used to. Don’t get me wrong, there were some good things but I just couldn’t role with it. I loved the patients more than anything but the constant cattiness, gossip, and talking smack took their toll. I had worked in different retail positions previously but my main experience was on the farm. I’m not one for juicy gossip, back stabbing, or talking smack and it didn’t take me long to chose another career that would more easily compliment who I am as a person. Criminal Justice here I come. This seemed to fit my more independent and adventurous side, plus I had always had a fascination with law and how it worked. The criminal justice field is dominated by men…no big problem because I’ve worked with men my whole life and they’re not a bad specimen to look at or get along with. To describe me as a person I would say I’m loyal, honest, competitive, aggressive, team player, and a good timer. These are all things that would classify me as a masculine personality. After reading a couple of the articles it makes me wonder if I will end up like Nevins for example. Will I start out going down my criminal justice path and think everything is honky dory while I’m gradually changing into what my male counterparts think I should be? Mm scary thought. I don’t see myself as doing anything in order to get to the top because my ultimate goal is not necessarily to be the alpha dog. This makes me wonder-Do those women lack morals or lose them somewhere along the way? I’ve seen when people are consumed by a goal or dream what can happen to them and think that these women fall into this category. One thing that I will have to do in order to keep my person intact is to constantly evaluate where I am in my life. It is so important to step back all the time and ask the questions- Where am I headed. Is that a good direction? And if it’s not a good direction- Which way do I want to be headed? Keeping focused is so important for me. I’ve come to realize that the minute I lose focus, it becomes a slippery slope. If I do make to the top of my chain, I want to be looked at with admiration not because of where I am but how I got there instead. I don’t want to have to think back over my career and have to think about how many men I slept with, the people I ruined, and the distress I caused on my way to the top. Wishful thinking? I hope not. When I get home from my future job, whatever it may be, I want to feel good in my skin. No, I’m not going to be a pushover but I am merely going to have a heart. As corny as it may sound I am going to try to keep on applying that wonderful golden rule- Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Yeah I may get ran over at times and want to kill ‘em, but I’m going to kill ‘em with love instead.
